Warcraft’s mythology has a habit of… well, let’s call it friendly borrowing. After all, stealing is a harsh word. Just look at Thorim and Loken. Sure, at first they may seem like obvious rip-offs of the Norse gods Thor and Loki, but on closer inspection, that’s exactly what they are.
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, but it’s all a conspiracy, man!)
So, Mega Man 10 got announced, which is pretty much the best news ever. The prospect of playing as Proto Man from the very beginning, fully integrated into the story, sends shivers of happiness down my spine. We also have more awesome 80’s inspired artwork, which looks incredible. I just had to make a quick little desktop background out of it, and I thought I’d share it with all of you. The image is 1440×900. Just click the thumbnail for the full sized version.
This post contains spoilers for Modern Warfare 2.
I’ve had to defend a lot of shit for the sake of video games. When Hot Coffee was burning up the media, I stood behind Rockstar. After all, the content in question was only viewable after a good deal of “teh haxorz” by the player. I thought it was silly that the game had to be temporarily re-rated.
When Manhunt 2 was given an AO rating, I thought it harsh. When Mass Effect was criticized for the inclusion of a sex scene, I stood up for it. When every other M-rated game gets banned in Australia, I’m puzzled.
But I cannot defend Modern Warfare 2’s “No Russian” level. I thought that putting the player in the role of a terrorist who went on an civilian-murdering rampage in a crowded airport was too much. Yes, I know that you weren’t really a terrorist, but rather some American agent pretending to be a terrorist. Frankly, once you stand around and just watch a bunch of people shoot up a group of unsuspecting tourists, with the option to join in on the “fun”, it doesn’t really matter. You notice how they all scream as you shoot them? It’s because you’re terrorizing them. See the word? Terrorize/terrorist.
Once again, you do not have to join in on the slaughter. You can just watch, and slowly walk over the corpses of the innocents as you follow your murderous entourage. Of course, from the plot’s perspective this makes no sense, since surely your terrorist friends would wonder why you weren’t joining them.
Still, this isn’t the first time we’ve had the ability to kill innocents. Grand Theft Auto games are famous for it. So why wasn’t I outraged over it then? And why am I generally okay with the killing of soldiers in games? In Uncharted 2, a game for which my love is greatly known, you kill hundreds of people. If I am to humanize these targets the same way I would the virtual denizens of Modern Warfare 2’s airport, could I really bring myself to believe that all those people deserved death?
I don’t know why I think that Modern Warfare 2 has crossed that line, but when I went through that level, watching the lifeless polygonal models run from their inevitable deaths, I was uncomfortable. What purpose did this really serve in the game? Some would say the plot would require it. I would agree that the plot called for some sort of act of aggression, to be perceived as from the US, to instigate the Russian invasion of America. I just think the way they went about it lacked any subtlety and, frankly, taste.
I felt angry and disgusted. Some told me this was intentional–that the scene was meant to make me feel this way. Frankly, I don’t appreciate someone using terrorism to toy with my emotions. How many of us criticized our government when they did the same to instigate war?
Terrorism is incredibly serious business. It’s a subject that has to be treated with delicacy. As much as I love gaming, I would not say the hobby is known for its light touch. No, gaming is associated with shooting, action, over-the-top thrills. These are the things that Modern Warfare 2 does well. I do not appreciated them trying to show me the horrors of terrorism in the midst of what is essentially the gaming equivalent of a popcorn action film. It’s like shoehorning a scene from Schindler’s List into the middle of Star Wars. It’s just not appropriate.
I’m not trying to say that gaming needs to be regulated to cheap thrills and dumb action. The deep stuff just needs to be handled better. Trying to commentate on terrorism by putting the player in the role of a terrorist just doesn’t make sense, especially in the middle of an experience as entertaining as Modern Warfare 2. Too many people would see it as an invitation to try to have more fun, where clearly none should be had.
In the beginning of the game, players are given the option to skip the level, showing that even Infinity Ward knew that they may have gone too far with this. Does this exclude the level from criticism? How many people would actually choose to skip a level in a game they bought, especially when they are only told vaguely that it may make them uncomfortable.
I’m not on a crusade to “protect the children” or to censor anything. Obviously Infinity Ward has the right to do whatever they want. It’s their damn game. Again, I’m sure a lot of people will disagree with everything I’m saying. That’s fine. Personally, this was just too much.
-Mike Minotti
Did you see my first comic? How about the second one? Pretty good stuff, right? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet! This issue is based on a series of quest centered around the mysterious Black Knight. It is eventually suggested that this character may be evil. Shocking.
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, but my pizza was delicious)
Tony Hawk Ride is a critical mess, and it seems likely to become equally disappointing commercially. Yet it’s hard to believe that only ten years ago, back in 1999, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater exploded onto the scene. In a time when sports gaming was defined by Madden (well, some things don’t change), the original THPS offered an alternative. It was a game that threw realism to the wind in favor of an experience that was fun.
Sure, THPS was a skating game. There were half pipes, grind rails, and all that stuff. But that wasn’t what made the game appealing. While a traditional sports game is competitive, THPS was skill based. You grinded from rail to rail into 900’s and double back flips, defying the laws of gravity and possibly skate board magnetism, all in the name of a high score.
As the series attempted to evolve with further sequels, new features were added. Some of the features, like the manual and the revert, added to the ease of extending long trick combos. Others added player created features, like Create-A-Skater or Create-A-Park. Still, all seemed well in the kingdom of Tony Hawk, which had quickly become one of the biggest gaming franchises around.
So when did things start to go sour? While the greed for yearly sequels and the over-saturation that came with that was surely a factor, I still think there’s more to the story. After all, other franchises, like Madden, have released yearly installments without taking the same hit to popularity that Tony Hawk did.
It was as soon as they began over-complicating the game that things began to go south for the franchise. Instead of time constrained, smaller levels that pushed for a fun and frantic race towards objectives, the games began to open up.
Starting with Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4, levels were now large, open worlds, were players had to skate around to find objectives to complete. The Underground games largely revolved around story modes, which were extraneous and didn’t really add much to the game. None of these additions seemed to be detracting from the core game all that much at first, but the original, arcadey Tony Hawk experience that we had all fallen in love with was becoming too big for its own good. We were witnessing a decline by degrees.
The leap to the Xbox 360 brought us Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland, and Activsion was tasked with bringing the franchise to a new generation of consoles. Their answer was to make their already overly big levels even bigger. Still, the bigger they got, the emptier and less creative they felt.
With Project 8 and Proving Ground, things only got larger and more complicated, and reviews for the once critically acclaimed series became mediocre. In the mean time, Activison had found new super franchises in Guitar Hero and Call of Duty. It seemed like it was time for Tony Hawk to finally take a rest.
But not for long. Only two years after Proving Ground was released, we have Tony Hawk Ride, a game that attempts to give Tony Hawk the Guitar Hero treatment by making the game peripheral dependent. Yet all they seem to have accomplished it to somehow make the series even more complicated, this time by forcing players to fall over themselves trying to manipulate a skateboard without wheels.
Now we are faced with the death of a franchise. A franchise that maybe overstayed its welcome, and one that never really figured out how to evolve from its basic premise into anything better. I choose not to ridicule Tony Hawk, despite the hilarious failure Tony Hawk Ride has become. I will instead thank Tony Hawk for the memories, and who knows, perhaps someday we’ll see a Tony Hawk game that remembers what made the series great to begin with. It could be worse. At least the game’s poster boy isn’t tied up in a celebrity sex scandal.
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, but my high scores in THSP3 were legendary)
My first comic was received well enough, so here’s another. This one is based off of the recent in-game world event Pilgrim’s Bounty. You won’t believe it, but it’s just like Thanksgiving, except with less Native Americans and more Night Elves.
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, is probably less likely to be hired as a cartoonist)
What is a twitterview, you ask? It’s an interview conducted over twitter, ya’ dummy! Anyways, Alex R. Cronk-Young, a frequent writer at Bitmob, did a joint twitterview with my brother/fellow podcaster and I.
CLICK THIS OBVIOUS LINK TO SEE IT!
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, but cool enough to be interviewed… or twitterviewed)
My drawings have given me some degree of recognition, so I thought I’d go crazy and make a small comic. This comic is loosely based on the World of Warcraft quest Slaves to Saronite.
The comic doesn’t really fit on this page, so just go see it over on Bitmob. I hope you enjoy!
- Mike Minotti (and yes, still jobless)
Isn’t it funny how differently Japanese and American games approach protagonists? Well, I hope you think it’s funny, otherwise this article is going to fall pretty flat.
The typical western videogame protagonist is in his late 20’s, early 30’s. He’s often a little “too old for this shit”, and is either, or was, a member of some armed force, be it military or mercenary.
If he is currently the member of some army, the game will typically start with him thrust into action with his squad. If it is not a squad based game, this squad will either die or otherwise disappear, and soon the outcome of the entire conflict will rest on our hero’s shoulders. If he is an ex-member of some army, the game will begin with him being called back into action, driven by either duty or revenge. It is not uncommon for the hero to be branded a traitor to his past army, causing him to get back into action in order to clear his name, especially in sequels.
The Japanese protagonist is a teenager, usually under the age of 18. He’s inexperienced, and is often thrust into action, usually by some calamity, often the destruction of a home town or the disappearance of some family member. Despite his youth, he will still exhibit extraordinary combat proficiency. This will sometimes be explained by some off-hand comment about “all that training you did”, or it will be suggested that the hero inherited this skill from his father, who was a well known war hero. Just as often, it will not be explained at all.
For our western hero, the less hair, the better. Being bald is ultimately ideal, but it is acceptable to have a small amount of hair, as long as it is not extravagantly styled, or heaven’s forbid, blond. Facial hair is optional.
The Japanese hero has long hair, sometimes hanging down and sometimes spiked. The only important thing is that it’s long. The hair can be any color. He will never have facial hair.
The western protagonist will always have a gun, and will only star in FPS’s or action games. This rule doesn’t apply for western RPG’s, where the protagonist will always be a custom created character, where players will struggle with sliders in a vain attempt to make their hero not look like a bland space marine.
The Japanese protagonist will always have a sword, even if his game takes place in space, the wild west, the future, or even the present. The presence of gun technology will never trump cold steel for our hero. Note that this does not mean that the protagonist can’t have a gun, just that he will never exclusively carry a gun over a sword. He may have both a sword and a gun. He stars in RPG’s and action games.
Our western hero will usually only talk when accepting or giving orders, to verbally dictate his anger and frustrations, or to otherwise be vulgar. There will, however, be at least one scene where our character will act at least kind of sad, but only one.
The Japanese hero will talk a lot more, usually asking questions. Really, he’ll be talking so much, it’s hard to describe exactly what he’ll say. He is one chatty bitch. There will be a point close to the climax of the game, usually after some revelation related to the hero’s father, where he will freak out and start screaming. Of course, none of this applies if our hero is a silent protagonist, in which case his supporting cast will pick up the slack on the annoying dialogue front. In-between the two is the angst-filled Japanese hero, who is a loner and doesn’t learn to trust his friends until the very end of the game.
Of course, there are always some exceptions. Often times Japanese developers will try to make a western style game. These games feature characters who are weird combinations of both sensibilities. Solid Snake is a good example. He doesn’t have Japanese long hair, but does have a mullet. He once had facial hair, a Japanese hero no-no, but it was a mustache, defeating the purpose of making him look cool.
I hope you all have fun finding specific examples to discredit my findings.
-Mike Minotti (still jobless, should shave my facial hair)
Why do so many games feel that they don’t need a final boss fight anymore (yeah, I’m looking at you again, Fable 2)? What was once a staple of gaming has become something of a dying art. It’s not good enough to end your game on some emotional highpoint. This is a videogame, not a movie. Before the credits roll, I want an epic encounter that makes me earn my game over screen.
With that said, let’s look back at some of my favorite… I mean, the unequivocally best final boss fights ever. These boss fights are both bad ass and epic. Also, let’s start with Number 1 again this time. Why the hell not?
1. Mother Brain – Super Metroid
It’s always amusing when the boss fight of a sequel plays off of one from a previous game. This fight begins just like the one in the original Metroid, but Mother Brain soon turns into a giant dinosaur thing that can shoot lasers. Oh shit!
Halfway through fighting the Mother Brainosaur, there comes a point where it starts pwning you with abandon. At the brink of death, the giant Metroid with mama issues comes to save you, ultimately getting all blown up, showering you with its essence. Logically, this gives you the ULTIMATE FINAL WEAPON LASER!
Take notes, everyone. This is how it’s done. And once you take those notes, make sure you study them every night. If you’re note taking skills aren’t very good, try recording your classes, so you can take notes at your own pace. If you still have trouble, ask a parent or teacher for help.
2. Ganondorf – The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Sure, there have been a lot of great Ganon/Ganondorf boss fights. What makes this one the best? You get to stab Ganondorf in the head.
3. The Boss – Metal Gear Solid 3
Yeah, that last entry was only one short paragraph. What do you want to do about it?
Anyways, the Boss. This fight is great, because it really pulls off that master vs. student feel. The Boss is able to do everything that Snake can, just better. You could just shoot her to kill her, if you’re lame, but the best way to take her down is with the same CQC that she taught you. Some would call that irony. I would too.
At the very end, you’re forced to push the shoot button to finally put the chatty bitch out of her misery. I swear this did not make me cry, because crying is for girls. Girls like the Boss, who I love killing in videogames.
4. Kefka – Final Fantasy VI 
The Kefka boss fight was like fighting some sort of boss tower, like the one I approximated to the right. See, you fight all of the sub-bosses, which allows you to rise up the boss tower, each time triggering a new section of awesome music.
When you finally get to Kefka, the music gets even more impossibly dramatic, the screen quakes, and Kefka, now adorning angel wings, falls from above. He then mocks your party for a little bit, then the fight begins.
This is a good example of how important build up can be to the final boss fight. Is Kefka really that much different from any other JRPG final boss? Not really, but the crazy bad guy tower totally sells it.
Also, way before Sephiroth was sporting that one-winged angel think, Kefka was totally rocking the angel wings. Only it was better, because he wasn’t Sephiroth.
5. Bowser – Super Mario World
You can always count on Bowser for a good final boss fight, as long as you don’t count Super Mario Sunshine. Super Mario World’s was my favorite. Maybe it’s just because I still find Bowser’s weird flying machine so funny looking. There’s also that funny face Bowser makes every time you throw one of his wind-up toys at him. Not that throwing Bowser into bombs in Super Mario 64 wasn’t amusing either.
It also has a nice progression of difficulty, with Bowser starting by just flying around in a predictable pattern, then eventually bouncing all over the screen. You ever notice how so many old-school bosses, when on their last leg, resort to hopping all over the place.
Also, there was Mode 7 involved, and Mode 7 made everything better. Whoa, look out, he’s flying towards you!
6. Dracula – CastleVania
There have been a lot of Dracula fights in CastleVania, but the original is still my favorite. It’s often duplicated, but the original still has that 8-bit charm that none of the others can match. Well, except for the second and the third ones, I guess.
I love the old final boss bait-and-switch, where the final boss would start off as something you’d expect, in this case Dracula, then turn into something crazy and surprisingly, like some hopping giant bat monster. This also helps prove my theory that when cornered, final bosses resort to hopping around the screen.
7. Dr. Robotnik – Sonic the Hedgehog 2
You thought you were good after beating Silver Sonic, didn’t you? Oh no, now you have to fight Robotnik, in his craziest robot suit yet! And don’t let him kill you, because then you’ll have to fight Silver Sonic again!
The boss has spikes for fingers, a homing jump attack, and a rocket punch. Just one of these abilities would make a normal gamer quake in his recently soiled boxers, but this deadly combination is just insane. Also, you’re fighting him in space. Hells yes.
8. Nightmare – Kirby’s Adventure
I already said that I love final bosses that play off of some final boss from a previous game. In Kirby’s Adventure, you first fight King Dedede in a battle reminiscent of the one from the original Kirby’s Dreamland. After beating him, however, Nightmare appears, and the former rivals must join forces!
Equipped with the Star Rod, you first fight Nightmare in shmup-like fashion, before engaging him in a more traditional boss fight. This fight is also fought in space. Final boss fights that are fought in space, when nothing in the game up to that point took place in space, always get bonus points.
Alright, that’s the list. Looking it over, I noticed that there are a lot of Nintendo games on there, so if you’re looking for something to complain about, that wouldn’t be a bad place to start.
- Mike Minotti (still jobless, hope I pass my editing test)
